It's so over

Salah satu temen cowok gw heran, kok bisa gw nginget2 'dia' di tengah
jadwal gw yg hectic ini. Gw juga heran. "Idealnya kamu sibuk bgt
nyelesein proyek itu sambil jalan kesana-kemari dan ngejar deadline
sampe lupa dia. Kok bisa masih inget sih?" entah ya. Emang gw bego aja
kali. Ato itu kelebihan otak perempuan yg mampu multitasking? Hehe.
Sekarang gw belajar to be in the present moment. Ga lari2 ke masa lalu
atau nginget hal2 yg ga ada di depan gw. Letting go is never easy
though that's what we do with our each breathe.. Semua kenangan indah
dan buruk itu hanya godaan, Han, maju terus!!!

--

namaste,
-hani-

es em eses

In:Diana
Ada lagu judulnya fever yang nyanyi FA.  GUBRAAAAAAK!

---

Out: Diana
Hahahahahaha! Akibat denial jd demam. Sumpah gw ngakak!

---

In: Diana
Anjrit banget kan tuh! Fever, migren... Mang enak! Terima aja napah... Kalo udah diterima kan sembuh trus kita kabur deh hahaha cr yg g penyakitan hahaha

---

Out: Diana
Bwahahahahahahaha! Qt ga nerima barang apkiran. Pake PE bukan EP! Ud penyakitan bekas dilepeh pl haha... Kuaciiii...

---

In: Diana
Tau aja lo gue lg makan kuaci hahaha... Lg bc sms lo kk gue milih lagu uthe yg keliru. Iya sih gw keliru kalo milih dia kakaka!

---

Out: Diana
Najis luuu hahahahaha!!

---

Diana: film kemaren lucu tuh
Diana: made in heaven
gue: ceritanya gimana seh
Diana: awalnya tu co idup di dunia trus patah hati n dia pergi ke california tapi di jalan dia kecelakaan n mati
Diana: trus dia masuk sorga.... ketemu ama ce dia ini new soul belom pernah ke dunia
Diana: mereka pacaran ampe merit di sorga trus si ce dapet tugas unutk ke dunia
gue: hihihihihi... terus...
Diana: akhirnya pergilah tu ce jadi bayi ke dunia
Diana: si co bingung,,, tapi dikasih bocoran ama "penjaga"nya sorga
Diana: dia bisa ketemu lagi ama tu ce di dunia n dikasih clue nya
Diana: macem dikasih iqra gitu deeeeehhh
gue: teruuussss
Diana: akhirnya turun juga tu co ke dunia....
gue: jadi bayi juga ga? ato langsung gede?
Diana: tapi dia engga tau mau ngapain.. sampe akhirnya dia kepontal2 n kehajar2 di dunia
Diana: bayi juga dunk
gue: hahahhahahahahaha lucu tuuuhhh
gue: yg maen sapa?
Diana: pas dia lagi down banget si "penjaga" dateng ke dia astral gituuuu
Diana: tau deh... film lama kayaknya
Diana: trus si penjaga ngingetin tu co harus ketemu tu ce.... waktunya gak lama lagi
Diana: tapi tu co gak nyadar juga tapi akhirnya alur hidupnya bikin dia ketemu ama tu ce lagi....
Diana: padahal tu ce juga udah merit ma orang lain akhirnya cere karena gak nyambung ama lakinya
Diana: pas mereka mau ketemu lucu banget deh.... saling liat2an n langsung klik....
Diana: ketemunya di jalanan pula
gue: iyeee.. terus..
gue: terus terus?
gue: balik lagi?
Diana: trus the end
Diana: mereka ketemu.... n jadian lagi
gue: kawin?
gue: seumur gitu?
gue: si ce lahir jadi ce?
Diana: iya
Diana: mereka pake casing yg sama
Diana: asik banget tu film...
gue: jadi pengen nonton hihi
Diana: apalagi gue abis baca buku journey of soul itu walopun baru depannya
gue: biasanya HBo suka ngulang2 kan
gue: ih samaaaa
gue: aku juga baru baca depannyaaaaaa
Diana: iya.....
gue: ada bedah bukunya kan hari ini
Diana: iya
Diana: jam berapa ya?
gue: jam 2 :D
Diana: kalo gini gue di jakarta ato di ambots g ada bedanya buat kita berdua secara ketemunya di YM mulu
gue: hahahahaha iya...
Diana: ngastral YM trus hihhihiihihi
gue: pake frekuensi juga neh
gue: hihihihi
Diana: yoih.....
Diana: kerjanya di PT astral
Diana: di film itu juga ada tuh adegan mereka ngobrol pake astral pas mereka di surga
Diana: itu dia kalo kita kangen ama orang pasti orang itu jg inget kita
gue: tu kaaann.... bener kaaannn...
Diana: pas di cengkareng mo kesini gue kangen ama si DT... goblik banget
gue: kita kan selalu gitu yan. berarti ama orang lain juga gitu. tinggal tergantung tu orang mo ngaku ato ngga.
gue: kalo ga mo ngaku ya deritanya dia
Diana: biar jadi denias ajah hihihiihhihihi
Diana: sekolahnya ampe jauuuuuuuuuuhhhh
Diana: kalo denial dikeplak kepalanya
gue: ama sapa?
Diana: ama kita dulu paling engga
gue: dikeplak ampe migrain kisah nyata neeeehhh hahahahahhaa
gue: eh ntar ni obrolan gue psting di blog gue ya
Diana: siapa dikeplak siapa?
gue: ituh si adek dikeplak karena denial kangen ama gue sampe migrain
Diana: kakakkakakakaka
Diana: ati2 loooooooo lama2 strooke hahahhahaa
Diana: kita tuh musti ati2 loh ama kelakuan kita sendiri
gue: ya iyalah pastinya.. cuma kita keseringan lepas kontrolnya daripada inget
gue: eh gue ding yg gitu hehe
gue: stroke kenapeeee.. yg denial pan dieeee
Diana: gue kemaren gandeng bapak2 engineer pas gathering udahannya gue diliatin gak abis2 ampe gue bingung ngumpet dimana
Diana: iyalah.... dia yg denial migren trus kalo masih denial jadi stoke
gue: masih kurang apa ya kena batu ginjal :D
Diana: itu batu gambaran dari kepalanya yg batu juga hihihihihihihi
gue: hihihihihi
Diana: demen deh loooooooo
gue: ya dong ahhhhhhhhhhh

little thoughts going thru my busy mind

- stay single thru 2007 (halaaahh.. yakiiiinnnnn???)
- MD82 is nicer than Boeing 747-200. tapi lebih berisikkkk...
- Ambon is the best city i visited during my roadshow :)
- jalan goyang pantat itu syusyah

jadwal minggu depan

Selasa, 19 Des : BENGKULU
Rabu, 20 Des : BALI
Jumat, 22 Des : PAPUA (mo tukeran sama Tirta)

Anugrah

berkali2 gue liat ini. sering banget ngeliat ini di mana2. sekarang gue ga mau terperosok ke dalam asosiasi yang sama, that it's him. nope. anugerah is being thankful whomever you're with. be it with or without him, i must be thankful and grateful.

ternyata mbak Linda juga ngerasain kesepian yang sama. sekarang semuanya lagi pada sibuk sendiri2. gue masih berkutat dengan kerjaan, mbak Ita sibuk ujian, Diana lagi di Palembang, mas Harry dan mas Oky juga sibuk. Dicky seperti biasa dengan jadwalnya yang ga jelas, Helen dan Adam juga sibuk sama kerjaan. semoga akhir minggu ini kita bisa ngumpul di rumah mbak Rita terus nginep di rumah bu Rully. hari Minggu-nya ke rumbah Bapak, horeeee.... kangen banget sama Bapak.

tgl 1 Januari besok gue 2 tahun ya. pengen ke Jogja kungkum sama Papi. how i miss those days i spent with them...

pernah ga ngerasain sedih mendalam? gue lagi ngerasain itu sekarang. ga ngira rasanya bisa sesakit ini. mungkin karena gue sering nganggep enteng perasaan gue sendiri jadi sekarang dia kasi liat sebesar apa kemampuannya mempengaruhi gue secara keseluruhan. ada untungnya itu terjadi sekarang sebelum semuanya lebih berlarut2 dan harapan gue membubung tinggi. di saat semuanya lagi chaotic, butuh penanganan segera, jawaban itu datang juga. sakit! damn.

kalo mau nyalahin dia sih ga akan ada habisnya. tapi buat apa? orangnya juga ga ngerasa bersalah. gue paling kesel sama diri gue sendiri yang serba kontradiktif. gue pengen bareng dia tapi gue ga tau apakah gue bisa bahagia dalam kebersamaan itu. gue pengen bareng dia tapi gue sulit menerima orang2 di sekitarnya. (begitu juga dia, mungkin.)

ntahlah. gue ga tau lagi mana yang benar dan salah. apa semuanya harus dilempar ke dalam kondisi seperti ini untuk sampai pada kesadaran bahwa salah dan benar udah ngga ada lagi?

yang gue tau sekarang sih rasanya sakit banget. bukan karena gue benci jawabannya tapi gue kangen banget sama dia :(

*nangissss*

semua orang pada ke Jogja hari ini. tinggal gue sendirian di Jakarta. pengen ikuuuttttt.. tapi pulang ke kos aja ga boleh apa lagi ke Jogja :((

ehek...

capek banget nih baru balik dari Semarang. pesawatnya delay 2 jam :(
kangen sama Ichi. sebel deh *gaya Tirta*
bukan sebel siiih.. apa ya namanya.. ya sebel sih.. sebel karena jadi susah mo ngapa2in dia hahhahahahhaah :P
tau ah.. pokoknya gue kangen ama elo, Chi! biar pun lo suka nyebelin ngomongnya, apa lagi pas gue ngadu soal kerjaan, tetep aja gue pengen ngadu ke elo, hehe.
tadi sore gue liat iklannya Casino Royale di Metro TV. jadi teringat ajakanmu hihihiih.. dasar jelek :P kapan dong kapan? ngemeng doang lo. Senin besok ya? jangan sampe keduluan bu Yayat dong. tadi dia bilang mo ngajak anak2 nonton CR bareng di Setiabudi.

kuis dari Ryane

1. Iri hati dengan orang lain
yang pasti bikin capek diri sendiri. kadang masih suka kepleset juga sih ke hal ini hehehehe...


2. Beauty atau personality
inner beauty hehehehehehe...


3. SIM
kemaren waktu di Bali pengen punya SIM C biar bisa nyewa motor. hari2 biasa sih ga kepikiran untuk punya SIM. suatu hari pastinya saya akan punya SIM A biar bisa nyetir mobil saya sendiri, caelaaahhh...
coba ya kamu yang nantangin saya sapa yg duluan punya mobil, tunggulah sampai saat itu tiba :))


4. Kehilangan Uang atau Teman
jangan sampeeee.. keilangan pacar aja saya ogah apalagi temen ato duit. (lah...)


5. Berkacamata
yeps karena saya rabun senja hihi. kacamata dipake hanya untuk kegiatan outdoor seperti naik angkot, belanja, atau window shopping. untuk kegiatan indoor seperti coding, nonton tv atau baca buku, ga pake kacamata. lagi di pesawat juga ga pake karena hampir bisa dipastikan saya dalam keadaan TIDUR.


6. Suka anak kecil
suka terutama anak saya sendiri hwehehehehehe...
eh saya ga suka anak kecil yg nakal. pengen ngejewer aja rasanya!


7. Operasi plastik
abis dioperasi plastik ngomongnya 'embeeeeerrrr...' gitu ya? i'll skip then :D


8. Memotong rambut sendiri
waktu SMP-SMA seneng banget motong poni sendiri.


9. Jatuh cinta pada pandangan pertama
i don't believe in such a thing. kalo lust at first sight pasti ada ;)


10. Mengadopsi anak
mauuuuu!!! suatu saat kalo saya udah mampu secara finansial, mau juga ngadopsi ade bayi biar Miranti punya ade tanpa saya susah2 hamil hehe....


11. Pacaran dengan orang yang lebih tua
seinget saya sih, baru 1x saya pacaran sama yg lebih muda 2 taun :D


12. Cinta bertepuk sebelah tangan
lagunya Dewa ya? hihihihi...


13. Kehilangan dompet
you can't lose something you never have. dompet pun aku tak punya...


14. Nonton berita
berita di Metro TV dan infotainment sih doyan. kalo berita kriminil kayak Buser ato Sergap mah ogah.


15. Pelajaran yang paling saya suka di sekolah
matematika dan bahasa inggris


16. Tipe cewek & cowok yang saya suka
tipe cowok aja deh ya. saya masih normal, belum jadi penyuka sejenis.
idealnya sih yang cerdas, pinter, konsisten, bertanggungjawab, committed to anything he does, punya kerjaan tetap (dan gajinya lebih gede daripada gaji gue hehe), CAKEP (hahahahahhaa.. Ichi pasti ketawa :P), pake macbook (halah ini spesifik amat ngomongnya).
dari segi fisik, gue suka yang lebih tinggi dari gue, chubby *wink wink*, wangi. eh kriteria cakep tadi mestinya masuk sini ya hehe... maap.


17. Menu sarapan kesukaan saya
mie ayam yono, bubur ayam ato soto ayam. jadi laper...


18. Orang yang sedang saya suka
hihihi jadi malu... mesti nyebut nama nih? ato boleh ciri2 aja? terserah dong ya kan ini blog saya hwehehehehehe...
(terus jadi lupa ngasi tau siapa orangnya hahahahahhaa...)


19. Penampilan dari lawan jenis yang saya suka (ngeliatnya)
rapi, bersih, wangi, senyum. males juga sama cowok cakep tapi manyun ato sok kecakepan. cape deh...


20. Band
band? maksudnya? :P


21. Tempat favorit
sekarang lagi suka di mana saja asal di depan Portege R100 saya. berkerja tentu saja...


22. Koran
Kompas minggu


23. Resto fast food
no more McD pleasee... setelah hampir 2 minggu dicekokin McD terus akhirnya saya ngamuk juga hehehhehe... Pizza Hut aja deh. mushroom teasernya enaks...


24. Stasiun tv
ndak suka nonton tv. kalo pun nonton palingan nonton infotainment (dih!), Oprah Show, HBO, ato tv luar lainnya. tv lokal? no way.


25. Nama anak laki-laki dan perempuan
anak perempuan: Miranti Anindhya Rahma(pastinya)
anak laki-laki: pengennya pake Rizki atau Raditya (biar rhyme sama Anindhya)

26. Mendengar kata "koper"
inget bagasi saya yg dihilangkan Sriwijaya Air keparat dalam perjalanan ke Batam tgl 4 November kemaren!!!!


27. Kalau mendengar seseorang mengucapkan Sekolah
saya ga suka sekolah!


28. Sapi
inget anak2 Rimba yang swearingnya kambing, kuda atau sapi, hahahahaha...


29. Rizky Hanggono
Olip di Jomblo kan? hehe...


30. Nah terakhirnya, saya ingin melempar PR aka quiz ini ke siapa
ke pihak yang bertanggungjawab untuk menjawab selanjutnya. apa seh!

taking some time off Jakarta

pagi ini gue berangkat ke Batam naik pesawat jam 8. jam 6 harus sudah di bandara karena bawaan kita buanyak. sekarang ngantuk tapi belom selesai coding. AAAAGGGHHH!!!!

tau2 tadi kangen simas margarin gara2 denger lagu Ada Band, Jadikan Aku Raja. once upon a time pernah denger lagu ini bareng dia di Djakarta Theater.
sok romantis ya gue *nyengir*

gue di Batam sampe tgl 11. pulang by 11 am flight. pulang buat Bapak nih :) kan tgl 11 November Bapak ulang taun bok! sampe Jakarta kira2 jam setengah 2 terus cabut ke Thaha. nyampe sana jam 3an deh ya. para Seblai ngumpul di Thaha hari Sabtu besok. malemnya kita mo naik bareng di rumah bu Win, sama Bapak juga.

hari Minggunya Rara nikah tapi gue ga bisa dateng kayaknya :( belum tau sih ke Bali pake flight jam berapa. semoga dapet yang siangan. biar bisa bareng mas Rama dan Hita.

tadi bu Yayat bilang kita stay di Bali terus sampe Regional 3 selesai. HOWREEEEEE!!!! lumayan kan stay di Bali 2 minggu gratis. ehek ehek... aku akan membawa nomer Frenku supaya bisa ol di sana. uhuy! hpnya aja belom beli lagi, gimana siyh... gggghh!!!

tadi gue diledekin Bapak. pas salaman gue minta didoain biar lancar.
"Kenapa, besok kamu mo nikah ya?"
seperti biasa pada ketawa dan AAAMMIIINNN....
dasar deeeeeh tukang ngejorokin orang. dia yg ngejorokin gue ke situ ga tanggung2 ye hihihihi...

yo wis.. kerja lagi...
sebenernya mules tapi Tommy ngomong yg 'ngga2'. males ke toilet jadinya gue... hhhh....

kurangajyar!

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me
like toxic waste.
David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but
still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a
philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to do great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question... Which I have not been able to answer... Is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a
week A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henry Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Religions are different roads converging on the same point. What does it matter that we take different roads so long as we reach the same goal? I believe that all religions of the world are true more or less. I say "more or less" because I believe that everything the human hand touches, by reason of the very fact that human beings are imperfect, becomes imperfect.

-Mahatma Gandhi

lembur deuy lembur deuy...

dudududu...

so now it's almost 1 AM and we're still installing Apache, MySQL and SIMPEG to 200 flash disks. YES!!!

si ngkong di suatu Jumat pagi

Wisnu: di indosnesia aja ada singa bisa nyanyi
Wisnu: RADJA singa
Hani: deeeeeuuuw yg ngefans ama radjaaaaaa
Hani: promosi teroooosss
Wisnu:
Wisnu:
Hani: gini dong biar sama
Hani:
Wisnu:
Wisnu: SAMIJAN RULEEESS!!
Wisnu: SAMIJAN ROKCSS!!
Wisnu: YEAH!

MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!

Not more than three short years ago
I was abandoned and alone
Without a penny to my name
So very young and so afraid
No proper shoes upon my feet
Sometimes I couldn't even eat
I often cried myself to sleep
But still I had to keep on going
Never knowing if I could take it
If I would make it through the night
I held on to my faith
I struggled and I prayed
And now I've found my way

Chorus:
If you believe in yourself enough
And know what you want
You're gonna make it happen
Make it happen
And if you get down on your
knees at night
And pray to the Lord
He's gonna make it happen
Make it happen

I know life can be so tough
And you feel like giving up
But you must be strong
Baby just hold on
You'll never find the answers
if you throw your life away
I used to feel the way you do
Still I have to keep on going
Never knowing if I could take it
If I would make it through the night
I held on to my faith
I struggled and I prayed
And now I've finally found my way

Chorus

I once was lost
But now I'm found
I got my feet on solid ground
Thank you Lord
If you believe within your soul
Just hold on tight
And don't let go
You can make it
Make it happen

(Mariah Carey)

accelerated class

sekolah jaman sekarang ada istilah kelas akselerasi. gue sekarang juga lagi masuk kelas akselerasi. semua urusan gue dipercepat: masalah percowokan dan terutama kerjaan.

sama cowok dibikin ilfeel. padahal tadinya gue menggebu2 banget pengen ketemu dia dan ngomong sebelum gue berangkat ke daerah. seiring berjalannya waktu keinginan itu menghilang, ketransfer jadi energi untuk kerja, hihihi...
saking gedenya semangat kerja gue, seemmuuuaaa kerjaan dimajuin deadlinenya. anjiiiiirrrr...
Raker yg mestinya awal Desember maju jadi 20 November. akibatnya semua kegiatan setelah tgl 18 november maju ke tgl 7. nyewa laptop yg mestinya setelah balik dari Makassar sekarang maju ke sebelum berangkat ke Batam. yg ada si boss pusying hihi...

yah sudahlah... mari kita selesaikan semuanya dengan baik. SECARA kalo kerjaan ga bener dan ga baik bisa2 gue di-demosi bukannya promosi heheehehhee...

hal seru lainnya, minggu ini dihiasi dengan mantan2 yg tiba2 menelfon ngajak jalan hihi...
hari Senin jalan sama mantan paling lama, tadi malem jalan sama mantan paling cakep. mantan paling pinter juga ngajak jalan tapi belum tau kapan karena gue lagi sibuk banget. (tapi kok jalan sama yang 2 lagi bisa? :D)

but honestly, gue pengen jalan sama mantan yang ilegal. kangen dia dari kemarin, hiks... eh tadi di telfon dia ngajak jalan juga hwehehehehehhee...
sabar yah! nanti sepulangnya saya dari Makassar kita ke Omah Sendok ok :)

*ngelamun mode on*


update
ada yang protes karena cuma 'dilabelin' ilegal, bukan cakep ato pinter. ya ya ya gue ganti deh... mantan yang paling romantis :)

don't worry be happy

Remember the whole thing is just a play and the Lord has assigned you a part. Act your part well; there all your duty ends. He has designed the play and he enjoys it.

-Sai Baba

 

Do You Sleep?

(Lisa Loeb)


do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
do you sleep, do you count sheep anymore?
do you sleep anymore?

do you take plight on my tongue like lead?
do you fall gracefully into bed anymore?

i saw you as you walked across my room.
you looked out the window, you looked at the moon.
and you sat on the corner of my bed, and
you smoked with the ghost in the back of my head.

i don't know, and i don't care
if i ever will see you again.
i don't know, and i don't care
if i ever will be there.

do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
do you sleep, do you keep me anymore?

you kick my foot under the table,
i kick you back;
i can't say i'm able to
stand for you or
fall for you ever again.
wish for a perfect setting?
wishing that i am letting you
take me where you want me
all over again?
you can't give yourself absolutely to someone else.

i don't know, and i don't care
if i ever will see you again.
i don't know, and i don't care
if i ever will be there.

i saw you as you walked across my room.
you looked out the window, you looked at the moon.
and you sat on the corner of my bed, and
you smoked with the ghost in the back of my head.

do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
do you sleep, do you count sheep anymore?
do you sleep anymore?

i don't know, and i don't care if i ever will be there.

I QUIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was a time when
I would go walking backwards
Round the world if you said you're mine
And I'd run blindfold down the
Kings Road Monday morning
If you'd just for once arrive on time
But you turned into another liar
And you came on like a new Messiah
So before you say what you desire
I'm telling you now?

I Quit! I Quit!
'Cos loving you's a job I don't need
Ain't gonna go to work no more
I Quit! I Quit!
The situation's vacant for me
Ain't gonna go to work no more
Ain't gonna go to work no more
Ain't gonna go to work

I got my hands dirty whole you rolled cigarettes
With one eye on the time
I tried my hardest, I've been conscientious
But I'm taking back that heart of mine
You can't roll me round your tongue no more baby
It's time to clear up your emotional debris
And if I'm falling overboard, please don't save me
'Cos I'm telling you now?

I Quit! I Quit!
'Cos loving you's a job I don't need
Ain't gonna go to work no more
I Quit! I Quit!
The situation's vacant for me
Ain't gonna go to work no more
Ain't gonna go to work no more
Ain't gonna go to work

It's too late to say you're sorry

You're just like every other lover
A shot rings out and you go running for cover
And I'm so sorry that I can't be your mother
And I'm telling you now?

I Quit! I Quit!
'Cos loving you's a job I don't need
Ain't gonna go to work no more
I Quit! I Quit!
The situation's vacant for me
Ain't gonna go to work no more
Ain't gonna go to work no more
Ain't gonna go to work

I Quit! I Quit! I Quit! I Quit! I Quit! I Quit!
Ain't gonna go to work no more
Ain't gonna go to work no more
Ain't gonna go to work

(Hepburn)

diitung2

hari ini udah ada 5 orang nanyain hal yang sama. KOCAK! nongol di YM tau2 nanyain itu. ada yg bilang gue feminin segala lagi =)) apa lagi kalo gue jadi jahil coba. ga kebayang deh hahahahahahah... bener2 kocak!

makasih deh buat doanya... Tuhan memberkati ya!

dropping

bangun tidur kepala rasanya sakit banget. badan juga tambah pegel2. mo flu nih kayaknya :(

jadwal.. ingat hay ingat...

Batam, 6-10 November: 10 Prov
Bali, 13-17 November: 13 Prov
Makassar, 20-24 November: 10 Prov

kamu sangat berarti.. istimewa di hati.. selamanya rasa ini.. jika tua nanti kita tlah hidup masing-masing.. ingatlah hari ini...

day of marriage

si Tante: HEH KATANYA MAU KAWIN YEEE
si Tante: GITUUUU IH MAU NINGGALIN AKYUUU YAH
Hani: kata sapeeeeeeeeee
si Tante: kata vay
si Tante: bener kan?
si Tante: katanya mau di bidakara trus udah nyewa GM ye?
Hani:
si Tante: eh lu cantik deh
si Tante: kuyuss
Hani: aminnnnnnnnnnnnn
Hani: hah? vay blg gue tembem
si Tante: HEH blum jawab lu
Hani: apa siiiyyy sayaaannnggg

stickwitu

I don't wanna go another day,
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind.
Seems like everybody's breaking up
Throwing their love away,
But I know I got a good thing right here
That's why I say (Hey)

Nobody gonna love me better
I must stick with you forever.
Nobody gonna take me higher
I must stick with you.
You know how to appreciate me
I must stick with you, my baby.
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I must stick with you.

I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind.
See the way we ride in our private lives,
Ain't nobody getting in between.
I want you to know that you're the only one for me (one for me)
And I say

[Chorus]

And now
Ain't nothing else I can need (nothing else I can need)
And now
I'm singing 'cause you're so, so into me.
I got you,
We'll be making love endlessly.
I'm with you (baby, I'm with you)
Baby, you're with me (Baby, you're with me)

So don't you worry about
People hanging around,
They ain't bringing us down.
I know you and you know me
And that's all that counts.
So don't you worry about
People hanging around,
They ain't bringing us down.
I know you and you know me
And that's why I say

[Chorus x2]

*****

lagu ini mestinya ga cocok buat gue sekarang. gue ga pengen stick with him (or stuck to him). tapi kok gue lagi suka banget lagu ini ya? bawah sadar yg minta pengakuan atau apa? ntahlah... sebenernya ngapain sih gue mikirin dia ampe kayak gini2 amat? penting banget ya? fokus han fokus.. kerjaan tuh selesein dulu. bikin menu aja belom bener udah lari2 kemana tu pikiran.

besok mo ketemu Ichi ngomongin kerjaan. terakhir ketemu dia ngomongnya amit2 judes banget. nyebelin. malemnya gue tantangin berantem lewat sms hehe. dia bilang itu perasaan gue aja dia judes. padahal orang lain yg denger juga komentar, "Berantem mulu sih bedua.."
ga tau nih besok ketemu kayak apa. pengen gue godain sebenernya hehehehe... tapi jangan deh ntar ada yg mirip gue jadinya :))

Selalu Denganmu

(Tompi)

adakah waktu yang tak berbatas untukku merasa bahagia
saat saat aku jatuh cinta
saat ku terbang jauh ke sana

selalu denganmu kasihku selamanya
selalu denganmu cintaku bersama

kaulah matahari dalam hidupku
dan kaulah cahaya bulan di malamku
hadirmu selalu akan kutunggu
cintamu selalu akan kurindu

selalu denganmu kasihku selamanya
selalu denganmu cintaku bersama

taukah kau diriku tak sanggup hidup bila kau jauh dariku
kuingin di pelukmu selalu
taukah kau diriku tak sanggup hidup bila kau jauh dariku
kuingin di pelukmu selalu

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh

kali ini SIMPEG yang membuatku gila...

CWG

keren banget!
btw CWG 2 udah ada terjemahannya. pengen beli...
hari Minggu mo berburu buku sama Diana. ada yg ngundang ke acara ulang taun tapi gue lagi males kumpul2.

coding my night away with...

~ Leave (Get Out) - JoJo
~ So Sick - Ne-Yo
~ Save The Last Dance For Me - Michael Buble
~ KU Ada Di Sini - Rio Febrian
~ Honesty - Billy Joel
~ YOU Are My Everything - Glenn Fredly
~ YOU - Ten Sharp
~ Quando Quando Quando - Michael Buble
~ YOU're All That Matters To Me - Curtis Stigers
~ I Love YOU - Omar Faruk
~ Can't Stop Loving YOU - Phil Collins

lagu buat Ichi (lagi)

SO SICK

Mmmm mmm yeah
Do do do do do do do-do
Ohh Yeah

Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone
Cuz right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cuz you walked out the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore
(it's ridiculous)
It's been months
And for some reason I just
(can't get over us)
And I'm stronger than this
(enough is enough)
No more walkin round
With my head down
I'm so over being blue
Cryin over you

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

Gotta fix that calender I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be

That's the reason I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

(Leave me alone)
Leave me alone
(Stupid love songs)
Dont make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
I'm letting go
Turning off the radio

Cuz I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)

Said I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishin' you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
Why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)
Why can't I turn off the radio?

***


udah Chi... ga usah dipikirin. putus emang sakit but life goes on, ok ;)

JIAYOOOO!!!!

nice things about SAMSAT

* ga perlu pasang alarm bangun pagi karena sinar matahari nyentrong masuk kamar
* makanan (kecil) selalu tersedia
* bisa kabur almost anytime asal jangan lama2
* ga perlu nyalain AC
* ga perlu mandi sore hehe

Kiky lagi deket sama bekas temen sekantornya. Sekarang temennya itu ngantor di Mid Plaza 1 lt. 18. Setelah ditelusuri ternyata dia anak 28, 95, Fis juga hihihihi... Gue lupa orangnya yang mana tapi namanya familiar.

Kata Kiky, waktu dia lagi bete karena MTGWI-nya itu, dia pengen nelfon gue ngajak jalan. Eh keduluan Mr. Sompo itu nelfon dia terus mereka jalan. Intinya mah dia emang mesti jalan sama anak Fis 28 angkatan 95 berangka 7. Lucu ya...

BIG DON'Ts

JANGAN minum kopi, dalam kondisi apa pun!!!

buat lo aja. yes you, the handsome one!

Jika suatu saat kamu merindukannya ku dan ingin memberinya ku kesempatan, ia aku akan ada di sana sini menunggumu karena ia aku tak pernah mencari orang lain. Ya... ia aku selalu menunggumu.

Adakah orang yang memperlakukan kamu dengan cara2 seperti di atas??? kalau ada, tahukah kamu kalau kamu sangat beruntung... <--- ini bukan gue yang bilang loh ya :P

***
selalu pengen bilang ini ke seseorang tapi ga pernah berani... semoga dia mampir lagi ke sini dan baca :)

playlist while standing by SAMSAT KP

Quando, Quando, Quando (Michael Buble & Nelly Furtado)
You are the sunshine of my life - Stevie Wonder
Ku ada di sini - Rio Febrian
My Cherie Amor - Onolisa
Overjoyed - Stevie Wonder

ngantuk euy ngantuk...

Honesty by Billy Joel

If you search for tenderness
It isn't hard to find
You can have the love you need to live
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind
It always seems to be so hard to give

Honesty is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you

I can always find someone
To say they sympathize
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve
But I don't want some pretty face
To tell me pretty lies
All I want is someone to believe

I can find a lover
I can find a friend
I can have security
Until the bitter end
Anyone can comfort me
With promises again
I know, I know

When I'm deep inside of me
Don't be too concerned
I won't ask for nothin' while I'm gone
But when I want sincerity
Tell me where else can I turn
Because you're the one that I depend upon

Honesty is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you

welcome to Ciloto!

kira2 itu arti dari kalimat, "SIMKA-nya bermasalah mbak..."
seminggu ini bener2 dikarantina. tempatnya jauh dari jalan raya Puncak. di Lembah Hijau, in case ada yg jalan2 ke Puncak dan pengen tau Bapelkes Depkes RI di mana. kerjanya kerja rodi. selesai ga selesai harus selesai!

untungnya sekarang ini yang deg2an Tirta sama Dewa karena yg dipake SILK, bukan SIMKA. gue di sini dikaryakan ngerjain buat Bengkulu. tadi kata Pak Kasub tinggal dikit lagi yg mesti dibenerin. semoga as simple as that ya...
eh btw ke Bengkulu kapan ya.. pertengahan Oktober? jalan keliling daerah baru bisa dimulai setelah Lebaran.

mari berjuang!

what to do about full moons

Because full Moons, even lunar eclipses, represent a culmination of what you set in motion during the last new Moon, you should review what you've started since the new Moon on August 23. Between now and the next new Moon later this month, on September 22 (also the date of the autumn solar eclipse) -- get a plan together to make changes that will make you feel more comfortable.

But for now, do yourself a favor. Watch a beautiful sunset, listen to a serene piece of music or sit quietly someplace where you can hear yourself think. You’ll be glad you did!

*blushing*

saat semua asamu hilang dan tak tersisa
usah kau berkecil hati
Ku ada di sini
saat engkau sadari tiada arti hidup ini
usah kau ragukan lagi
Ku ada di sini

tak akan ada satu pun yang bisa memisahkan kita
sebutkan Namaku di hatimu

tak perlu seribu bintang yang bertaburan di langit sana
tuk temani malam-malammu
Ku ada di sini
tak perlu seribu sahabat dengan senyum sapa dan hangat cinta
cukup satu alasan indah
Ku ada di sini

saat semua lelahmu tak terbuangkan lagi
usah kau sibuk sendiri
Ku ada di sini
saat semua cintamu pergi dan tak kembali
usah kau tangisi lagi
Ku ada di sini

tak akan ada satu pun yang bisa memisahkan kita
sebutkan Namaku di hatimu

tak perlu seribu bintang yang bertaburan di langit sana
tuk temani malam-malammu
Ku ada di sini
tak perlu seribu sahabat dengan senyum sapa dan hangat cinta
cukup satu alasan indah
Ku ada di sini

(Ku ada di sini - Rio Febrian)

karma

Karma is not something complicated or philosophical. Karma means watching your body, watching your mouth, and watching your mind. Trying to keep these three doors as pure as possible is the practice of karma.

-Lama Thubten Yeshe, "The Bliss of Inner Fire"

High

When you're close to tears remember
Someday it'll all be over
One day we're gonna get so high
Though it's darker than December
What's ahead is a different colour
One day we're gonna get so high

And at the end of the day remember the days
When we were close to the end
And wonder how we made it through the night
At the end of the day
Remember the way
We stayed so close to the end
We'll remember it was me and you


Cause we are gonna be
Forever, you and me
You will always keep it flying high in The Sky of Love

Don't you think it's time you started
Doing what we always wanted
One day we're gonna get so high
Cause even the impossible
Is easy when we got each other
One day we're gonna get so high

And at the end of the day remember the days
When we were close to the end
And wonder how we made it through the night
At the end of the day
Remember the way
We stayed so close to the end
We'll remember it was me and you

Cause we are gonna be
Forever, you and me
You will always keep it flying high in The Sky of Love


Lighthouse Family

eureka!

2 hari yang lalu ngobrol panjang-lebar sama mbak Yuli (bukan nama sebenarnya). seneng bisa ngobrol lama gitu sama dia. biasanya dia ol cuma bentar, putus2 pula. kemarin itu lancar banget. malah gue yg putus2.

akhirnya terungkaplah dua buah kisah yang mirip dengan ending berbeda. kisah yang satu selesai dengan prematur, yang satu masih terus berjalan. ga perlu gue ceritain di sini detail kisah itu. yang jelas gue jadi tau kenapa proses yang gue jalanin ini rasanya lambat dan berat banget. gue mesti nyembuhin trauma gue dulu baru gue bisa dapet apa yang gue mau. gila ya tu trauma dalem banget sampe gue lupa kalo gue punya trauma :D

mbak Yuli ngasi saran apa yang perlu gue lakuin untuk nyembuhin trauma gue. singkatnya mah: mi'raj! (ngomongnya pake gaya Bapak)
keluarin semua kemarahanmu ke Tuhan sampe ga tau mo marah apa lagi, dia bilang. maafin diri sendiri, maafin dia dan isinya yang bikin gue marah.

doa ini sepertinya akan membantu:
saya memaafkan diri saya
saya mencintai diri saya
terbebas dari kemarahan
terbebas dari kesedihan
terbebas dari kesakitan
terbebas dari kesulitan
terbebas dari penderitaan
saya izinkan diri saya menjadi sehat dan kuat
dipenuhi kasih sayang dan kemurahan
gembira dan baik hati
semoga saya hidup berbahagia
mencapai dan menghayati kebahagiaan dan kedamaian sejati
* makasih mas Dodi buat contekan doanya *

setelah kebongkar, semuanya jadi terpampang jelas di depan gue. apa yang mesti gue lakukan, bagaimana urutannya, bagaimana melakukannya..
ah... senangnya...

should i be flattered or not?

Harso: udah baca emailku ttg syeh?
Hani: yg mana?
Harso: yang replyan...
Harso: syeh abdul qadir jaelani
Hani: yg ngelempar terompah?
Harso: reply tulisan mas aryo... tuhan mencipta kejahatan?
Harso: yoi
Hani: iya iya udah....
Harso: lucu gak....
Hani: suka gue bacanya
Harso: syukurlah lu suka...
Harso: tolok ukur gue disono tuh sementara ini elu...
Hani: haaah?
Hani: kenapa gitu?
Harso: kalo suka tanggepin dong....
Hani: hihihihi.. mo nanggepin gimana. paling gue one liner
Harso: yauadahlah... yang penting lu suka...
Harso: mencerahkan nggak?
Hani: iya dong. kalo ga mencerahkan gue ga bilang suka
Harso: hehehe
Harso: yg gue tau lu tuh agak susah suka ama sesuatu...
Hani: haaah? masa sih? bukannya gue orangnya murahan banget, gampang suka?
Harso: gampang suka susah nempel...
Harso: lu orgnya agak....mmm sadis malah
Hani: bukannya sadis banget ya?
Harso: bukan sadis ding.... mmmm sinis...
Hani: oh iya... sinis
Harso: nah bikin org sinis seneng itu jauh lebih susah ....
Hani: hihihihi
Hani: jadi GR gue
Hani: terus terus gue gimana lagi?
Harso: ya udah itu aja sinis...

----

hihihihihi....

hmmmm

gue dapet pertanyaan baru tentang sayang-menyayangi.

kan katanya 'a friend in need is a friend indeed'. lalu, apakah orang yang ga bisa kasih bantuan di saat kita butuh karena dia ga mampu, bukan ga mau, ga layak kita sebut 'teman'?

mirip pertanyaan, "apakah kita bisa menilai seseorang sayang sama kita dari sikapnya ke kita? kalo sikapnya kurang baik, berarti dia ga sayang. sebaliknya, sikap yang manis nunjukin dia sayang sama kita." kesimpulan sementara sih: ngga bisa. contoh konkritnya gue. gue sayang Anti, tapi gue ga telfon dia tiap hari. ato Bajuri. dia sayang ama murid2nya tapi tetep aja pada dimarahin kalo bandel. (walopun bandel dan ga bandel itu 'ga ada' hihihi..)

so... ga perlu berkecil hati atau ngambek kalo orang yang lo sayang nyuekin lo. atau keGRan kalau orang yang lo sayang membalas perhatian lo. yea right.. easier said than done. (aku sama Ana rebutan tampil, hihihihihi)

***

malam ini gue online sambil dengerin 97,5 FM. dari masih di Obor tadi asik dengerin radio ini. lagunya jadul2 hihi... saya jadi merasa tua kalo inget lagu2 itu pertama kali ngetop tahun 80an di saat gue masih SD. apa lagi yang waktu itu udah SMP ato SMA ya? haahahahahaha...
but still, i can't wait to be 30. kayaknya bisa 'nyombong' dikit kalo udah kepala 3 hwehehehehehe....

***

sebenernya sih ya, menurut gue nih, gue ga akan bisa ngambil kesimpulan atas apapun karena semuanya serba relatif. semuanya cuma pertanda, simbol, representasi dari Sesuatu yang lain. kan ada tuh buku yang judulnya 'If God is so good, why is the world so cruel?' Tuhan kan Maha Segala-galanya, tapi kenapa dunia isinya amburadul gini? ga berarti Dia mencipta sesuatu yang salah kan, atau kasarnya, Tuhan seamburadul ciptaanNya. emang ceritanya dunia ini mesti amburadul yasudlah kita jalani aja peran masing2 dengan baik.

hmmm.. jadi inget bukunya Diana: Madness of God (Shawni) dan Veronica decide to die (Paulo Coelho). yang pertama baru gue baca depannya aja. yang kedua udah tamat. kocak banget tu buku. gue bisa ngakak sampe kram perut kali kalo bacanya di kos. yang bikin geli adalah cerita apa yang Tuhan lakukan biar surga rame lagi. dan balasannya karena ngeluarin Adam dan Hawa dari surga. baca deh kalo belum pernah.

***

kangen deh sama lo, mas...

Bajuri oh Bajuri...

gue sekarang mulai ngerti kenapa waktu itu Bajuri nyuruh gue melakukan 'itu'. you know.. 'that' thing! hal yang kayaknya ga akan berani gue lakuin kalo ga dijerumusin dia. maaf, Pak, saya pake kata itu. ga ada yg lebih tepat sih :D

kronologisnya kira2 kan gini: gue bingung mo mutusin apa karena terpolusi omongan temen2 gue. salah gue sendiri sih ga punya pendirian yang kuat. kalo emang mau, lakuin ajalah ga usah mikirin pendapat orang lain. toh mereka ngomong ampe bebusa juga ga gue lakuin kan *POK!!!*

tapi ya gitu deh.. gue yang labil ini terus-terusan cari pembenaran ke kanan-kiri. 'untungnya' ga dapet :)) seandainya waktu itu gue udah kenal mbak Linda ato mas Sigit, dikerjain abis pasti gue sama mereka :D Diana juga ga ngedukung2 amat kan, ntah kenapa. padahal masalah kita sama dan dia pengen ngelakuin hal yang sama ama gue -akhirnya- :))

terus.. karena udah butek akhirnya gue cerita ke Bajuri. dia males kali ya ngeliat tampang gue waktu itu. antara pengen cerita dan ngga. i was prepared for the worst though. disuruh pergi ya gue pergi. kan murid yang baik, hihi... eeeehhhh kok dia malah nyuruh sebaliknya :)) yg dia suruh lakuin persis apa yang gue pengenin huehehehehehe... dasar!
setelah hampir sebulan gue cuekin aja 'perintah'nya itu, gue lakuin juga karena gue pengen ada moment besar di bulan April, hihihihihi.. udahannya ya lega. lega banget.

jadi dari akhir April ke hari ini udah 4 bulan kan? gue baru ngeh sekarang what really happened then :D baru ngerti juga kenapa dia suka ngomong, "Nikmatin aja!" kalo ada yang curhat ke dia. ya iyalah! kalo dia ikut mikirin kan dia ikut nanggung karma tu orang. so, either dia diem aja dengan kata2 'jalanin aja'-nya itu, ato dia jorokin sekalian :)) dasar deh si Bapak...

seru juga kalo gue bisa bikin dia pusing ya hihihihi... gurunya aja jail, gpp dong muridnya jail dikit ;)
sekarang selamat menikmati 'penderitaan' menunggu...

btw..
apa yang ditunggu sih sebenernya? :))
kan cuma window shopping, ngapain dibikin susah...

back online

hopefully permanently. kalo ga permanen juga gpp deh... i still got other means to communicate.

selamat hari Senin! :)

ternyata

nari Melayu itu susah! Selasa kemaren pemanasannya pake tari Melayu, entah apa namanya, Serampangan mungkin (instead of Serampang 12). Poco2 aja susah, apa lagi Serampang(an).

hari ini pegel2 dan kesel. ada yg bikin gue kesel tadi malem. sialan!

syukurilah

 

sekian lama gue di Depkes, baru tadi siang gue bisa mensyukuri nikmatnya ditempatin di situ. bukan karena ACnya yang dingin, atau makanannya yang enak dan macem2, apalagi karena internet ga ada :P  tapi karena hari ini gue bisa merasakan kebahagiaan masuk kantor seenaknya, makan siang di luar ga ada yg ngelarang, dan pulang cepet tanpa perlu kasi alesan macem2. hahahahahahaha.... dasar gue deh...

 

terus terang aja gue ga pernah menikmati yang namanya kerja kantoran. apa enaknya coba? bukannya gue ga bersyukur loh bisa punya kerjaan asik kayak gini! yg gue omongin ini masalah ngatur waktu, bukan bekerja atau tidak bekerja. 

coba deh bayangin... (dan diam2 gue masuk ke pikiran lo supaya lo setuju sama pendapat gue ini :P)

dari kecil waktu kita udah diatur orang lain. dalam hal ini tentunya orang tua kita. jam 9 malam harus tidur karena besok pagi sekolah. harus bangun pagi supaya ga terlambat ke sekolah. harus tidur siang supaya malemnya bisa ngerjain PR. malemnya tidur jam 9 supaya besok ga telat bangun. dan seterusnya...

sampai tibalah saatnya kita kuliah dan bisa agak fleksibel ngatur waktu. untungnya gue dari dulu ga demen ikut ekskul, UKM dan sejenisnya yg cuma ngabis2in waktu gue lebih lama di sekolah/kampus. NEHI! gue kan aliran anti-sekolah :P sekolah aja gue ga demen apalagi berlama2 di sekolah untuk 'bersenang2'. seneng2 mah di rumah aja hihihihi.... ini juga gue terapin ke anak gue. kalo dia ga mau ikut kegiatan-ngabis2in-waktu-di-sekolah-tanpa-manfaat-selain-nyape2in-badan gitu, gue dukung! ekstrim ya gue? emang :P

 

nah terus nih.. tibalah saatnya kita masuk dunia kerja. dulunya gue pikir jadi orang kantoran tu enak. ternyata... bweh!!! lo terkurung berjam2 di ruangan yang sama dengan orang2 yg sama selama berhari2. mengerikan ya? tapi ga pernah nyadar kan? kesian deh lo :P

gue paling benci dan kesel di saat anak gue sakit dan gue harus minta ijin ke boss gue untuk ga masuk. PLEASE DEH! emang mereka pemilik gue apa? hidup hidup gue, anak anak gue, waktu waktu gue, kok mo ngurusin anak sakit aja mesti ijin? itu juga kalo dikasih. dulu waktu gue masih kerja di Batam sering banget tuh gue harus deg2an denger anak gue sakit di rumah sementara kerjaan gue ga bisa ditinggal. (padahal mah bisa aja tapi boss gue ga ngijinin. pret!) terus kalo pas bisa pulang cepet, gue harus deg2an sepanjang perjalanan pulang ngebayangin anak gue sakit :(

 

hal nyebelin lainnya, gue ga bisa seneng2 di hari kerja dan jam kerja. (btw siapa sih yang nentuin hari kerja itu Senin sampai Jumat? menyebalkan!) seneng2 di sini maksudnya memenuhi kebutuhan gue di luar kerjaan. misalnya sosialisasi, jalan2, tidur siang. gue lagi sering bertanya, hidup macam apa sih ini kok gue ga bisa memakai waktu gue seperti yang gue mau? ya, emang bener kita ga bisa dapet semua yang kita pengenin. tapi hal kayak gitu ga rumit2 banget kan sebenernya? manusia aja yg suka mempersulit diri dan sesamanya :))

 

sepertinya... udah waktunya gue memerdekakan diri dari kungkungan waktu kerja sialan itu...

 

heu?

ternyata udah hampir 2 bulan gue jadi orang autis. whoa! ga kerasa.
akhir2 ini gue mulai get in touch with my freakin' friends. mulai
ngobrol lagi sama Diana, Iing, Fuad, mas Dodi (walo di Y!M aja) dan
Djipang. life must go on kan...

Mas, inget janji lo 3 bulan yang lalu ya...

--

namaste,
-hani-

stop!

sekarang waktunya beristirahat sebentar dari kegilaan 2 bulan terakhir
ini. udah cukup puas main kesana-kemari, bersenang-senang sampe
kenyang dan sedikit nakal. kumpulin tenaga untuk mulai fokus lagi. gue
memilih untuk ... (baca: titik-titik. atau eng ing eng juga booeh.).

tadi siang dengerin Pesona FM ngebahas tentang Mercury retrogade.
katanya orang yang lahir di saat Merkurius mundur akan bangkit
keinginan-keinginan terpendamnya pas planet ini mengalami retrogasi
(ada ga siy istilah ini?).
hmmm.. mungkin gue salah satunya ya. tau kan menjelang ulang taun gini
gue tiba-tiba punya 'keinginan mulia'. hwehehehe... jangan ngaku temen
gue kalo ga tau apa 'keinginan mulia' gue itu. yea.. the same old wish
:)

gue tau Alam Semesta pasti dengerin gue dan ngebukain jalan ke arah
itu. the thing is... AM I READY? i guess i gotta choose now, this very
moment in time. as they always say, it's ME who has to make decisions
for myself.

may The Force be with me always...

--

namaste,
-hani-

mules tiada akhir

gerah tiada akhir juga (di kost)
dingin tiada akhir (di ruang server)
bersih2 ato kenapa ya gueeee...

--

namaste,
-hani-

He who knows me as his own divine Self breaks through the belief that he is the body and is not reborn as a separate creature. Such a one is united with me. Delivered from selfish attachment, fear, and anger, filled with me, surrendering themselves to me, purified in the fire of my being, many have reached the state of unity in me.

-Bhagavad Gita 4:9-10

fun facts about me

from www.paulsadowski.com


You entered: 7/25/1977

Your date of conception was on or about 1 November 1976 which was a Monday.

You were born on a Monday
under the astrological sign Leo.
Your Life path number is 11.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 8, 11 & 22.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 3 & 6.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 9.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2443349.5.
The golden number for 1977 is 2.
The epact number for 1977 is 10.
The year 1977 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/18/1977 and ending 2/6/1978.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Snake.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Salmon; your plant is Raspberry.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Paopy, the second month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 10 April 1977.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 10 April 1977.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 23 February 1977.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 29 May 1977.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 5 June 1977.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Tuesday, 13 September 1977.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Sunday, 3 April 1977.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 22 February 1977.

As of 6/23/2006 2:46:06 AM EDT
You are 28 years old.
You are 347 months old.
You are 1,508 weeks old.
You are 10,560 days old.
You are 253,442 hours old.
You are 15,206,566 minutes old.
You are 912,393,966 seconds old.

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 4.13307240704501 years old. (You're still chasing cats!)



There are 32 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 29 candles.

Those 29 candles produce 29 BTUs,
or 7,308 calories of heat (that's only 7.3080 food Calories!) .
You can boil 3.31 US ounces of water with that many candles.


In 1977 there were approximately 3.1 million births in the US.
In 1977 the US population was approximately 203,302,031 people, 57.4 persons per square mile.
In 1977 in the US there were approximately 2,152,662 marriages (10.1%) and 1,036,000 divorces (4.9%)
In 1977 in the US there were approximately 1,921,000 deaths (9.5 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.


Your birthstone is Ruby
The Mystical properties of Ruby
Ruby is said to open one's heart to love.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Carnelian

Your birth tree is

Elm Tree, the noble-mindedness

Pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, tends to a know-all-attitude and making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humour, practical.


There are 185 days till Christmas 2006!
There are 198 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waxing gibbous.

bodoh!

gue buang2 waktu utk sesuatu yg ga pasti. hhhh!!!!

--

namaste,
-hani-

wihihihihi...

saya jadi orang sibuk akhir2 ini hahahahaha...
setelah minggu lalu ke Cisarua 4 hari (dan tepar di hari ke-5), besok pagi gue ke Bogor. lalu tanggal 22 ke Bengkulu. berasa orang marketing dah gue, bukan technical lagi. yo wis... ceriwis...

makasih mas Rama udah bantu gue ngerealisasiin mimpi gue yg satu itu. eh dua ya.
kata kuncinya: WEB! :)

sssstttt!!!!

Vain, boastful talk repels acts of kindness
and tears the branch of mercy from the trunk of the tree.
Speak honestly or else be silent,
and then behold grace and delight in it.


-Rumi, "Mathnawi" [III, 751-752]

love is...

These are ALL true definitions! Had to share them again. Please slow down for three minutes to read this.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think.

***

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So now my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
-Rebecca- age 8


”When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
-Billy - age 8


"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
-Karl - age 5


"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
-Chrissy - age 6


"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
-Terri - age 7


"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
-Danny - age 7


"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
-Emily - age 8


"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
-Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)


"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." -Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)


"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
-Noelle - age 7


"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other SO well."
-Tommy - age 6


"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
-Cindy - age 8


"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
-Clare - age 6


"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
-Elaine-age 5


"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt."
-Chris - age 7


"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
-Mary Ann - age 4

once again

Life has proven its glory to me..
oh God.. what kind of sense of Humour You got :)

--

namaste,
-hani-

my Poet :">

The Lord is the supreme poet, the first cause, the sovereign ruler,
subtler than the tiniest particle, the support of all, inconceivable,
bright as the sun, beyond darkness. Remembering him in this way at the
time of death, through devotion and the power of meditation, with your
mind completely stilled and your concentration fixed in the center of
the spiritual awareness between the eyebrows, you will realize the
supreme Lord.

-Bhagavad Gita 8:9-10

gggghhhhhhhh

--

namaste,
-hani-

no weekend..

sekarang gue di Cisarua. boro2 long wiken gue yg hilang bisa kebayar.
malah tambah pusing. hhhh..

pengen pulaaaang..

--

namaste,
-hani-

rekor!!!!

jam segini, hari gini, gue masih LEMBUR. hebat kan! selama ngantor di Rimba mana pernah gue lembur, apa lagi SABTU MALAM! gila! Depkes membuatku gilaaaaa....

adakah?

laki2 yg bisa dijadikan pria ketiga (dan keempat) antara gue dan Tante?
laki2 yang bisa tegar dan sabar menghadapi kelakuan kami berdua, mendengarkan obrolan dan teori kami berdua, dan terutama berada di antara kami selagi kami sedang berduaan.
pertanyaan yang menarik bukan? ya dong! secara kalo gue lagi bedua ma Tante the world collaps and other people don't exist. ada ga laki2 yg tahan?

ya... no wonder we're still single.. but who cares anyways hahahahha...
kalau dengan berpasangan eksplorasi gue terhambat, ntar dulu deh.
kalau dengan berpasangan gue jadi susah ketemu Tante, ntar dulu deh.
kalau gue jadi susah jalan kesana kemari karena punya pacar, ogaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh....

***
bokap gue tadi pagi nanya, 'how's your love life?'
me: 'great!'
bokap: 'in what way?'
me: 'i'm into something new.'
bokap: 'you ended the old one or just taking a break?'
me: 'i quit. males muter di situ2 aja ga ada kemajuan.'
bokap: 'oalah... anak Bapak yang satu ini kok kayak gini ya...'
me: 'kayak gini in what sense?'
bokap: 'kayak gini, bukan kayak gitu. no judgement.'
me: 'hahahahahaha... (pause) keinginan itu jadi mentah lagi...'
bokap: 'gpp.. live your life the way you want it. yang penting sadar...'
me: 'ya, i love my freedom, you know that.'
bokap: 'i know. so... how bad is the damage?' (penasaran dia kenapa gue quit)
me: 'berat deh pokoknya. levelnya udah tinggi. perlu usaha ekstra untuk memperbaiki. i got no time for that.'
bokap: 'baik2 ya...'

***
huhu... ada ga ya laki2 asik kayak bokap gue yg bisa gue jadiin pacar? ada? ADA?

When we allow God’s power to pervade all our actions, and submit to his decrees, we shed all anxiety about the effects of our actions on others; we cease even to consider the effects of our actions. When we cease to consider the effects of our actions, we are adopting the attributes of God himself.

-Qushayri, "Risalah"

hehe

lagi males posting... males DQ... males ngapa2in. lagi seneng enjoying the ride. pengen marah ya marah, pengen ketawa ya ketawa, pengen diem ya diem. bener2 autis.

Falling Into You

And in your eyes I see ribbons of color
I see us inside of each other
I feel my unconscious merge with yours
And I hear a voice say, "What's his is hers"

I'm falling into you
This dream could come true
And it feels so good falling into you

I was afraid to let you in here
Now I have learned love can't be made in fear
The walls begin to tumble down
And I can't even see the ground

I'm falling into you
This dream could come true
And it feels so good falling into you

Falling like a leaf, falling like a star
Finding a belief, falling where you are

Catch me, don't let me drop!
Love me, don't ever stop!

So close your eyes and let me kiss you
And while you sleep I will miss you

I'm falling into you
This dream could come true
And it feels so good falling into you

Falling like a leaf, falling like a star
Finding a belief, falling where you are

Falling into you
Falling into you
Falling into you



(Celine Dion)

:">

bagai Bintang di Surga dan Seluruh Warna dan Kasih Yang Setia dan Cahaya Nyata
oh Bintang di Surga berikan Cerita dan Kasih Yang Setia dan Cahaya Nyata

--

namaste,
-hani-

bila yang tertulis untukmu adalah yang terbaik untukku
kan kujadikan kau kenangan yang terindah dalam hidupku

lucu banget lucu banget lucu bangeeeeettt

ternyata eh ternyata... yang bilang 'rela banget' minggu lalu sebenernya ga rela. huw! sapa suruh bilang rela padahal ngga.

obat yang tepat untukku yang sedang sebal jadi manusia

It is hard to be born as a human being and hard to live the life of one. It is even harder to hear of the path and harder still to awake, to rise, and to follow.

Yet the teaching is simple: "Cease to do evil, learn to do good. And purify your mind."

-Dhammapada

hhhh

ga tau ini termasuk sindrom sunday-hate atau ga. gue bete banget
sekarang ini. ngerasa dimanfaatin. sialan banget ya.

--
keep shining! :)
-hani-

hhhhh

it's no fun anymore. i'm leaving. you don't take this thing seriously
anyway. why should i bother myself with you.

--
keep shining! :)
-hani-

leaving

gue lagi BOSEN BANGET jadi manusia Bumi. selalu dinilai dari apa yg
terlihat mata. kenapa sih ga bisa take things as they are, ga usah
ditempelin atribut keturunan, pendidikan, harta, kerjaan, temen,
gelar, and all those damned materialistic tags? apa pada ga bisa
ngeliat esensinya aja? atau ga mau? spesies yg aneh! dikasi mata 2
pasang yg dipake cuma sepasang. dipercaya lagi! hhhh...

semoga di kehidupan sesudah ini gue dilahirkan di tempat yg mahluknya
berkesadaran lebih tinggi daripada yg gue temui di kehidupan ini,
amin!

--
keep shining! :)
-hani-

reserving a seat

Tuhan,
setelah kontrakku jadi Hani selesai, aku pengen pindah ke
dimensi/dunia/semesta/whatever yang mahluknya lebih sadar daripada
spesies manusia Bumi ya. aku caaapeeek dinilai dari kulit. ya Tuhan
ya? jangan lupa!!!

--
keep shining! :)
-hani-

Popular searches in my network

1. Mother's Day


2. bridal registry


3. flowers online


4. new movies


5. jewelry


6. planning a wedding


7. mexico travel


8. perfume


9. unique gifts


10. online games

pindahan

pagi ini bangun jam 6.30. Febby nelfon minta dipasangin mp3 Flying Without Wings sebelum masuk kamar operasi. (see you tonight ya Feb! :)
abis itu gue mandi, siap2 berangkat. nope, bukan ke kantor tapi ke Depkes :P jam 7.30 cabut dari kos. beli soto buat sarapan, terus jalan kaki ke arah Casablanca. mo nyoba naik 44. jalan kakinya lumejen bow hehe... sebelum mikrolet masuk ke ke terowongan gue turun, nyebrang ke arah Depkes. jalan kaki lagi kira2 4 kavling. lumejeeeennn.... sampe sini jam 8.20. ketemu Rina di depan lift. sepinya...

nanti malem mau ke RS Cikini nengokin Febby. eh bokap gue ke Jakarta hari ini. horeeeeeeee....

cermin - bagian 2

aku adalah engkau
engkau adalah aku
kananku adalah kirimu
kiriku adalah kananmu
sakitku adalah senangmu
senangku adalah sakitmu

(dedicated to my twinsoul)

langit Jakarta jam 5.30 pagi

indah... huhuy...
gue kadang suka heran sama orang2 yg mengeluh Jakarta macet, banjir, ga indah, nyebelin, dll. ntah gue yang kelewat cinta sama kota ini sampe ga bisa liat kejelekannya, atau emang hal2 kayak gitu wajar terjadi di kota sebesar ini. Batam yang sekecil itu aja bisa macet kok apa lagi Jakarta. kalo ngga mau macet pada tingal di desa aja sana, jangan tinggal di Jakarta.
hihihi... kejem ya gue. EMANG!

tadi pagi jam segitu gue udah di jalan karena si Tante mo meeting di Percetakan Negara jam 8 nanti. dengan gagah berani jam 5 kurang kita mandi lalu jam 5.20 cabut. di tol ngeliat langit Jakarta nan indah tea...

weekend ini akan jadi weekend yang menyenangkan. Sabtu mo nengokin Febby di RS PGI Cikini. sorenya ke Citos ketemu anak2 PRC. hari Minggu mo santai2 di kos. malamnya ada hot date, uhuy uhuy!!! jam 23.15 waktu setempat penghuni QuantumSpirit mengheningkan cipta bersama.

hmmm.. kangen tafakur bareng Bapak...

As the web issues out of the spider
And is withdrawn, as plants sprout from the earth,
As hair grows from the body, even so,
The sages say, this universe springs from
The deathless Self, the source of life.

The deathless Self meditated upon Himself and projected the universe
As evolutionary energy.
From this energy developed life, mind,
The elements, and the world of karma,
Which is enchained by cause and effect.

-Mundaka Upanishad

Quando, Quando, Quando

(Michael Buble feat Nelly Furtado)

Tell me when will you be mine
Tell me quando quando quando
We can share a love divine
Please don't make me wait again

When will you say yes to me
Tell me quando quando quando
You mean happiness to me
Oh my love please tell me when

Every moments a day
Every day seems a lifetime
Let me show you the way
To a joy beyond compare

I can't wait a moment more
Tell me quando quando quando
Say its me that you adore
And then darling tell me when

Every moments a day
Every day seems a lifetime
Let me show you the way
To a joy beyond compare

I can't wait a moment more
Tell me quando quando quando
Say its me that you adore
And then darling tell me when

Whoa lover tell me when
Oh darling tell me when
Oh come on tell me when
Yea tell me when

When you worship, you are aware of your separateness from God; you are the subject and he is the object. The more you worship, the more you acquire this sense of separateness from God. Union with God comes when this sense of your separateness from God is stripped away.

-Qushayri, "Risalah"

QS 14:7 ~ Dan (ingatlah juga), tatkala Tuhanmu memaklumkan; "Sesungguhnya jika kamu bersyukur, pasti Kami akan menambah (ni'mat) kepadamu, dan jika kamu mengingkari (ni'mat-Ku), maka sesungguhnya azab-Ku sangat pedih"

protes mulu sih...

daftar nomor plat

Jawa dan Madura
A = Banten, kecuali Tangerang kota dan kabupaten
B = Jakarta, Tangerang, Bekasi dan Depok
D = Bandung kota dan kabupaten
E = ex Karesidenan Cirebon
F = ex Karesidenan Bogor kecuali Depok
G = ex Karesidenan Pekalongan
H = ex Karesidenan Semarang
K = ex Karesidenan Pati
L = ex Karesidenan Surabaya
M = ex Karesidenan Madura
N = ex Karesidenan Malang
P = ex Karesidenan Besuki
R = ex Karesidenan Banyumas
S = Bojonegoro, Lamongan, Tuban, Jombang
T = Karawang
W = Gresik, Sidoarjo, Mojokerto
Z = Priangan Timur: Tasikmalaya, Garut, Ciamis, Kota Banjar, dan Sumedang

AA = ex Karesidenan Kedu
AB = ex Karesidenan Yogyakarta atau DIY
AD = ex Karesidenan Surakarta
AE = ex Karesidenan Madiun
AG = ex Karesidenan Kediri


Sumatra
BA = Sumatra Barat
BB = Sumatra Utara bagian selatan
BD = Bengkulu
BE = Lampung
BG = Sumatra Selatan
BH = Jambi
BL = Nanggroe Aceh Darussalaam
BK = Sumatra Utara bagian utara
BM = Riau
BN = Bangka-Belitung


Kalimantan
DA = Kalimantan Selatan
KB = Kalimantan Barat
KT = Kalimantan Timur
KH = Kalimantan Tengah


Sulawesi
DB = Sulawesi Utara
DD = Sulawesi Selatan, Sulawesi Barat
DL = Sangihe dan pulau-pulaunya
DM = Gorontalo
DN = Sulawesi Tengah


Maluku dan Papua
DE = Maluku Selatan
DG = Maluku Utara
DS = Papua (Barat)


Nusa Tenggara
DH = Timor (Barat)
DK = Bali
DR = Lombok
EA = Sumbawa
EB = Flores
ED = Sumba

this crazy world we live in

bener2 lucu dan kocak. sepanjang pagi ini gue ketawa karena 2 fenomena yang terjadi sama gue. input sama, output beda. variable di dalam proses ada yang beda, menyebabkan output beda. hanya karena 1 variable bernilai gengsi, proses dan output jadi beda. bener2 kocak!

do you believe in dreams? those things happen while you're sleeping. i do.

lagu yang mengakhiri perselingkuhanku (supposedly)

aku yang tak pernah bisa lupakan dirinya yang kini hadir di antara kita
namun ku juga takkan bisa menepis bayangmu yang selama ini temani hidupku

maafkan aku menduakan cintamu
berat rasa hatiku tinggalkan dirinya
dan demi waktu yang bergulir di sampingmu
maafkan diriku sepenuh hatimu
seandainya bila ku bisa memilih...

kalau saja waktu itu ku tak jumpa dirinya
mungkin semua takkan seperti ini
dirimu dan dirinya kini ada di hatiku
membawa aku dalam kehancuran

(Demi Waktu - Ungu)

update:
lagu ini gue hapus dari playlist dan SD card gue pagi ini (20/04/06). biar gue ga manja dan membenarkan perselingkuhan gue :D
makasih Bapak untuk doa dan minumannya tadi malem. Hani sayaaaaaaaaaaaaaang sama Bapak :)

(should i? should i not?)

i was as wrong as i could be to let you get away from me
i regret that day for as long as i'm living
but now that i've come to see The Light
all i wanna do is make things right
so just say the word and tell me that i'm forgiven

you and me we're gonna be better than we were before
i loved you then but now i intend to open up and love you even more
this time you can be sure

i'll never gonna let you goo
i'm gonna hold you in my arms forever
gonna try and make up for the times i hurt you so
gonna hold your body close to mine
from this day on we're gonna be together
i swear this time i'll never gonna let you go

looking back now it seems so clear
i had it all when you were here
you gave it all and i took it for granted
but if there's some feelings left in you
some flicker of love would still shine thru
let's talk it out
let's talk about second chances

wait and see it's gonna be sweeter than it was before
i gave some then but now i intend to dedicate myself to even more
this time you can be sure

i'll never gonna let you goo
i'm gonna hold you in my arms forever
gonna try and make up for the times i hurt you so
gonna hold your body close to mine
from this day on we're gonna be together
i swear this time i'll never gonna let you go

but if you'll just say you want me too i'll...
never gonna let you goo
i'm gonna hold you in my arms forever
gonna try and make up for the times i hurt you so
gonna hold your body close to mine
from this day on we're gonna be together
i swear this time i'll never gonna let you go


(ntah lagunya siapa, yang jelas 80s)

"When you practice generosity, Subhuti, you should not rely on any object to be the cause of your generosity. You should not rely on words, for they are merely labels. If you practice generosity without relying on causes or labels, you cannot conceive of the happiness. Subhuti, do you think that the space in the east can be measured?"

"No, Honored One."

"Can the space in the west, the north, or the south, or up above or down below be measured?"

"No, Honored One."

"In the same way, Subhuti, if you do not rely on any concept when practicing generosity, the happiness that results is as immeasurable as space."


-Diamond Sutra

accepting my fear

Do not lose hope in Allah, for He is the Creator. He will create
another way for you. Do not flee from your trials; patience in
adversity is the foundation of all virtue, of compassion and
sainthood. Patience is the foundation, and without a sound foundation
you cannot build a monument.

-Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani, "Fayuz E Yazdani"

--
keep shining! :)
-hani-

new task

the task today is to overcome our own resistance and evolve into
higher forms of ourselves.

--
keep shining! :)
-hani-

Compassion is the willingness to play in the field of dreams even
though you are awake.

-Matthew Flickstein, "Swallowing the River Ganges"

--
keep shining! :)
-hani-

my darling

i can't get enough of your love, baby..

(miss my soulmates: Tante, mas Dodi, Diana, Harso, Niken)

--
keep shining! :)
-hani-

The laws of life are five:
Nonviolence,
Truthfulness,
Integrity,
Chastity,
Nonattachment.

These laws are universal. Unaffected by time, place, birth, or circumstance, together they constitute the "Great Law of Life."

-The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, 2:30-31

Be fearless and pure; never waver in your determination or your dedication to the spiritual life. Give freely. Be self-controlled, sincere, truthful, loving, and full of the desire to serve. Realize the truth of the scriptures; learn to be detached and to take joy in renunciation. Do not get angry or harm any living creature, but be compassionate and gentle; show good will to all. Cultivate vigor, patience, will, purity; avoid malice and pride. Then, Arjuna, you will achieve your divine destiny.

-Bhagavad Gita 16:1-3

roller coaster weekend

keenakan naik roller coaster sampe pusing, mual, muak, marah2, kesenengan, sakit perut. gila gila gilaaaaa....

loong weekend..

i kinda miss him now. hm, well, i do. kenapa ya suka tau2 muncul,
meronta2, trus hilang. kenapa ga constantly feel it. karena yang kekal
memang hanya perubahan? isn't that 'sad', that the mix of 2
oppositions will take you to the Zero Zone. ya iyalah ya, 1 + -1 = 0.
just like God (or Whatever you wanna call Him/Her/It/Them).

and this morning i lost my appetite for an adventure i planned
yesterday. sorry buddy to leave you hanging. can't do it. can't betray
myself. i just wanna get out off my little dark circle. it's nice
when you were around. time to move on.

--
keep shining! :)
-hani-

lagu untuk yang lagi males solat

maafkan aku menduakan cintamu
berat rasa hatiku tinggalkan dirinya
dan demi waktu yang bergulir di sampingmu
maafkanlah diriku sepenuh hatimu

When God’s decree becomes your pleasure,
you become a willing slave,
not because of burdening yourself,
not on account of recompense,
but by virtue of the nature now so pure
that wherever divine edict may take you,
living and dying will appear the same.
You live for God, not for riches;
you die for God, not from fear or pain.


-Rumi, “Mathnawi”

some people are made for each other
some people can love one another for life
some people can hold it together
each thru all kinds of weather
how bout us me?

stupidity and blindess

I urge you not to throw away time, for it's swift as an arrow, fast as a stream. Distraction is entirely due to lack of concentration; stupidity and blindness are caused by lack of true knowledge.

-Yung-Ming, "Five Houses of Zen"

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Congratulations! You made it through Jaim-Free Month!
Please be patient on the next level. More and more challenges to come.
You're getting closer ;-)

--
keep shining! :)
-hani-

how i remember you

If it's true from the start
That the names of those we love are written in our hearts
And we'll search 'til we find in this jungle of Confusion
Something that reminds us how we love each other
Then I think I've found the clue because I certain I remember you

Through my window I see how the seasons change like notes within some harmony
But the love in our eyes is an endless summer
Is a joy that magnifies each time we touch each other
And it feels like Deja Vu as my heart reveals how I remember you

Day after day I'm amazed how our love intensifies
In every way it resembles forever
Abandons us never

Like the sunlight that shines
Like the fragrance of the rose
No single word defines
We are tuned to the sound that displays Creation
That our lives revolve around and searching for each other
From a million hearts we choose
You remember me and I remember you

A chorus of sparrows in summer
Is how I remember you
The fire of maples in autumn
Is how I remember you
The Silence of snowfall in winter
Is how I remember you

***
ya ya i remember you... :)

everyone is moving..

1. Vivi, tetangga kos gue sejak masih di Flamboyan, akhir bulan ini
cabut dari kos dan pulang ke rumahnya karena dia dpt kerjaan baru yg
9-5 di Sudirman.

2. Martha, temen seperjuangan Vivi juga, rencananya mo balik ke
rumahnya jg stl kuliahnya selesai.

3. Niken, temen seperjuangan gue juga, beberapa bulan akan ditempatin
entah dimana. Bisa di Jambi, Batam ato Jakarta. Chance di Jakarta
tipis, katanya, karena yg dipegang divisinya Niken ada di 2 kota itu.

4. Mbak Party, temen seperjuangan naik 19 tiap pagi, juga mo pindah
kost krn disini ga ada parkiran.

5. Kalo Martha balik ke rumahnya, kemungkinan kak Retha, kakaknya yg
jg tetangga gue, juga bakal pindah kost.

6. Selasa besok hari terakhir Gema di kantor. Dia diterima di TransTV.

*update
7. Tyas tanggal 8 April nikah di Madiun. Minggu depannya di Balikpapan.

Well.. ga ada yang kekal kecuali perubahan...

Ntah kenapa gue ngerasa April ini something BIG (not just big) and
MAJOR will happen to me. It must be something really good :)

--
keep shining! :)
-hani-

beres-beres

Hani: gigi gue yg lagi dibenerin ada 2, yg depan (yg patah itu) dan kanan atas (bolong)
Hani: yg depan perawatannya lebih simple karena dia udah mati dan ga bermasalah
Hani: yg bolong itu yg ribet
Hani: yg lagi dirawat adalah saluran akar. sebelum kemaren koas yg nanganin gue cuma nemu 1 saluran akar. udah dibersihin dan dibentuk. rencananya kemaren itu mau diisi, lalu ditambal permanen
Hani: tapi rasanya kok sakit banget ya, kayak ada duri nyangkut di situ. kesenggol waktu ngunyah juga sakit. nah kemaren karena gue aduh2 mulu waktu tambal sementaranya dibuka, dia tanya ke dokter spesialis. terus sang spesialis meriksa. eh dia menemukan bahwa gigi gue itu akarnya DUA!
inggani: Oh iya terus masih ada akar ya
Hani: eh bukan akarnya ding, tapi salurannya
Hani: salurannya 2, dan menyatu di ujung. jadi keliatannya kayak cuma 1
inggani: Oh..Terus gimana
Hani: nah yg 1 ini kemaren dibersihin sampe gue nyut2an berat
inggani: Itu lazim apa nggak
Hani: lazim... bahkan ada yg 3
inggani: Oh..Gito..
Hani: koas gue itu seneng banget karena akhirnya dia dapet kasus akar ganda hihi
inggani: Hehehe dasar. Jadi kelinci pembelajaran
Hani: gue juga seneng karena kayaknya gue akan nemuin hal lain yg harus gue benerin dulu dan setelah itu masalah gue sama **** akan selesai
Hani: sakitnya setengah mati sis... ampuuuunn.. sampe susah makan banget
Hani: nyengir aja susah
inggani: Hehehe aaMiN
inggani: Hahaha..

AFTER ALL (Al Jarreau)

There, there was a time I knew
That no matter, come what may, love
would prevail
And then inside the dreams I knew
Came the question lovers fear
Can true love fail
Then I would miss the childhood wish
And haven't I sung to you
Of the knight in armor bright
Faithful and true to you

Darling, after all
I will be the one to hold you in my arms
After all
I will be the one to hold you
I will be the one to hold you in my arms
In my arms

I know in my heart and mind
That no matter, come what may, love will survive
And love, the author of space and time
Keeps the galaxies and each sparrow alive
And the love that heals the wound
After the war is through
Is the knight in armor bright
Faithful and true to you

jude = hani

Hey jude, don’t make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.

Hey jude, don’t be afraid.
You were made to go out and get her.
The minute you let her under your skin,
Then you begin to make it better.

And anytime you feel the pain, hey jude, refrain,
Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders.
For well you know that it’s a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.

Hey jude, don’t let me down.
You have found her, now go and get her.
Remember to let her into your heart,
Then you can start to make it better.

So let it out and let it in, hey jude, begin,
You’re waiting for someone to perform with.
And don’t you know that it’s just you, hey jude, you’ll do,
The movement you need is on your shoulder.

Hey jude, don’t make it bad.
Take a sad song and make it better.
Remember to let her under your skin,
Then you’ll begin to make it
Better better better better better better, oh.

Na na na na na ,na na na, hey jude..

bad day

Where is the moment we need at the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

(yeah...)

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

(Daniel Powter) *siapanya Harry Potter neh?*

ancer-ancer bulan

sepertinya Mei 2007.
berarti saya udah 29 ya... hmmm... ga apa2lah meleset sedikit daripada ngga sama sekali hehe...
kok gue kawin bulan Mei lagi yaaaa???

should i or should i not?

topik hangat yang lagi sering diomongin orang2 deket gue adalah isu longing dan kehampaan yang menyertainya. mbak Tari ngsms berkali2 cerita ttg longing ini. mas Dodi posting di LuL. gue dan si Tante termehe2 ngebahasnya karena kita ngerasain itu banget. pertanyaan: wajarkah? secara kita *ngakunya* udah tercerahkan dan tau apa yang sebenernya kita cari, bahkan udah ketemu. kok masih nyari sesuatu yg fisikal?

barusan di kamar mandi gue mulai merangkai potongan2 jawabannya. kita diciptakan sebagai manusia, mahluk fisik, spirit trapped in a body (thanks to mbak Herni contekannya). the ultimate longing feeling is truly for Him/Her/Whatever-It-Is-You-Call. then once we found Him (karena gue perempuan kali ya jadi gue prefer nyebut dia Him :D), are we really sure we don't need anything else? mmm... need is a strong word ya. i mean, are we sure we can live by our own selves, alone, all by ourselves? kan kita masih hidup di dunia materi. kita dilengkapi dengan semua tools yg dibutuhkan mahluk materi. kalo bukan untuk dimanfaatkan sesuai fungsi masing2, buat apa Tuhan ngasi tools itu ke kita?

salah satu yang ekstrim mungkin keinginan seksual. rasanya paradoks ya, naluri ini ada karena Tuhan yang kasih tapi kadang2 digambarkan bahwa hubungan seksual itu sesuatu yg kotor, salah, dosa, tabu. kalo dilakukan oleh 2 orang yg ga berhak melakukan memang seks itu jatuh ke posisi negatif tadi. tapi saat dilakukan sepasang suami-istri dengan penuh kasih sayang dan kesadaran, pindah tempat ke posisi positif tertinggi. malah bisa jadi media bertemu Tuhan. believe it or not.

kita dijadiin manusia untuk ngerasain berbagai macam rasa melalui perjalanan sehari2 kita, termasuk perasaan longing ini. gue percaya banyak yang ngalamin perasaan ini juga sekarang, right at this moment. mungkin aja salah satu dari mereka ternyata orang yang gue tunggu...

day 1: mules-mules

normal kan? :D
tadi malem Dee bilang sesuatu yang kena banget di gue. "saya pikir saya jatuh cinta sama dia. ternyata setelah saya jujur dan bersikap dewasa pada diri saya sendiri, saya jatuh cinta pada perasaan jatuh cinta itu." wew!
gue banget nih yang kayak begini. mas Dodi juga pernah nyentil gue kayak gitu. waktu itu sih guenya denial. sekarang... hehehe... emang! kesiaaaann deh...
yah terima sajalah. gue suka pada perasaan waktu gue bareng dia, gue kangen sama perasaan kangen waktu gue inget dia. mungkin gue harus cari orang yang waktu sama dia gue ga ngerasain apa2 ya. so the feeling is real (what is REAL anyways), bukan bayang2 dari rasa lain yang tumpang tindih. memurnikan niat, intinya mah ya...

all you need is Love..

buletin papan

kemaren pulang kantor kemana?

ke DS. si Tante dan Raiyan nunggu gue di sana. tapi gue mampir ke tempat Ing dulu hehe...

terus kemana?

ke Omah Sendok. tadinya mo ke Thaha tapi masih sepi jadi gue ikut ke Omah. (turned out Bapak tadi malam datang tapi ga ngajar)

ngapain kesana?

ada bedah film Ketika. pembahasnya pak Deddy Mizwar (sutradara), Nova Riyanti Yusuf (novelis), dan Ekky Imanjaya (pengamat film). Filmnya bagus euy...

sama siapa aja kesananya?

Tante dan Raiyan. di sana ketemu mbak Imbi dan suami, mas Dodi, mbak Rini, mas Nungki, Dewi, Fuad, mas Erwin, mas Eddy, mbak Ely, mas Eddy KKAS, mbak Anne, Sidik, Heru, Taufik, Tasi, rame deh.. ada Erick juga! hahahahahaha... maap sektoral :D

acaranya sampe jamber?

jam 22 udah selesai terus foto2 dulu hihi. selesai foto2 pindah ke dalam karena temen Raiyan ada yg mau nyusul.
setelah temennya nyampe kita malah ngobrol2 lebih seru lagi. Raiyan pengen bikin Klub Story Telling. dari sinilah obrolan berkembang. sampai jam... 00 :D

apa yang paling menarik dari acara itu?

relief Sang Buddha di Omah Sendok. gue meratiin tanpa ngerti what's so special about that statue. waktu kita mo pulang mas Eddy nyalain lampu di bawahnya dan talaaa... ketauan betapa kerennya relief itu. gila gila gila... KEREN!

Yellow Submarine

In the town where I was born
lived a man who sailed to sea
And he told us of his life
In the land of submarines
So we sailed up to the sun
Till we found a sea of green
and we lived beneath the waves
In our yellow submarine
We all live in a yellow submarine
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine
We all live is a yellow submarine
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine
And our friends are all aboard
Many more of them live next door
And the band begins to play
We all live in a yellow submarine
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine
We all live is a yellow submarine
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine
(Full speed ahead Mr. Boatswain, full speed ahead
Full speed ahead it is, Sgt. Cut the cable, drop the cable
Aye, sir, aye Captain, captain)
As we live a life of ease
Everyone one of us has all we need
Sky of blue and sea of green
In our yellow submarine
We all live in a yellow submarine
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine
We all live is a yellow submarine
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine
We all live in a yellow submarine
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine
We all live is a yellow submarine
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

being organic

gue lagi haid tapi rasanya kayak hamil. perut begah-besar-bundar-buncit. malu saya ngeliatnya. kalo lagi sakit gue usap2 kayak ngusap2 Anti waktu dia masih di dalam perut, hihi.

You are my Everything

cruising when then sun goes down
cross the sea searching for something inside of me
i would find all the lost pieces
heart will feel
deep in real
i was blinded but now i see
you're the one
you're the one
you're the one
i can't live without you

take me to your place where our hearts belong together
i will follow you cos you're the reason that i breathe
i'll come running to you
fill me with your love forever
i promise you one thing
that i will never let you go
cos you are my everything

(Glenn Fredly - OST Cinta Silver)

HOME

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be allright
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

(Michael Buble)

something to think about

Seorang teman, perempuan, curhat gila2an di Food Court Plaza Semanggi tadi malam. Topik: boss, pekerjaan dan kantor yang menyebalkan. Dari ceritanya yang panjang gue menyimpulkan (tapi gue belom bilang ke dia) hal2 yang bikin dia kesel dan sebel sama boss dan kantornya adalah ketidakpuasan atas kurangnya penghargaan dari boss atas kerja (keras)nya.

Dia cerita suatu hari dia disuruh lembur sama si boss, kita sebut boss Payah, karena proyek itu mau kejar tayang dalam 2 hari. Padahal kalo si boss bisa mengefektifkan waktunya (kasarnya sih manajemen waktunya ga bagus), order kerjaan itu udah bisa turun ke dia sejak 1 minggu sebelumnya. Bayangin, SATU MINGGU, 5 hari kerja. Paling ngga dia ga perlu lembur dan besoknya tegang seharian karena langsung Sang Klien (gue pake huruf besar karena kadang2 klien jadi tuhan buat boss2) yg ngereview kerjaannya tanpa supervisi dan koreksi dari boss. Padahal si boss bilang sebelum temen gue itu pulang ngelembur, kerjaannya akan dicek malam itu juga. (Besoknya waktu dia tanya udah dicek ato belum, bossnya cuma ngejawab sambil lalu, “Lupa,” as if that project is worth nothing at all.)

Hal kedua yang bikin dia kesel adalah omongan si boss waktu gajian akhir bulan lalu. Kantor temen gue itu gajian di hari terakhir tiap bulan. (Istilahnya Nugi, kalo ada tanggal 70 ya gajiannya tanggal 70.) Gajian TIDAK DIDASARKAN pada proyek yang dikerjakan. Eh tau2 si boss ngomong lewat salah satu anak buahnya yg loyal ke dia (temen gue ini ngaku kalo dia ga loyal2 amat sama perusahaan/bossnya hehe), “Kalian mestinya gajian besok (aka tgl 1) karena kerjaan kalian belum beres!”
HEH!!!??? Dengan sengitnya temen gue nanya ke temennya, “Oh jadi ada aturan baru nih kita gajian berdasarkan proyek? Ada komisi juga dong!”
Temennya cuman

Hal ketiga, dia selalu disalahin sama boss yg satu lagi karena kerjaannya lewat jatuh tempo. Salah satunya gara2 proyek yang ga dicek lagi itu. Seharusnya hari itu dia ngerjain proyek lain. Tapi karena si boss lupa/alpa/khilaf/ga bisa ngatur waktu, semua kerjaan hari itu dipending dan diswitch ke proyek-kejar-tayang-dalam-2-hari itu. Eh boss atunya lagi, kita sebut aja dia boss Rese, nuntut pertanggungjawaban, “Ini udah due date kok belom kamu ngerjain? Emang kamu ngerjain apa?”
“Proyek-kejar-tayang-dalam-2-hari.”
“Yang mana sih? Emang ada? Mana requestnya?”
*DAMN!!!* dalam hati tentunya. “Ya udah dibalikin dong pak, kan udah selesai. Kalo ga percaya tanya aja ke si Payah. Tapi tetep aja saya salah ya, kan saya cuma anak buah!” temen gue jadi ketus ngomongnya. Sementara si Rese ga komentar apa2 lagi langsung cabut balik ke ruangannya. Besoknya dia -si Rese maksudnya- masih ngomongin hal yang sama, tetep sambil nyureng. Gue juga pasti emosi jiwa punya dua boss gebleg kayak gitu.

Sekarang temen gue itu lagi muak2nya sama kantor. Dia milih diem, menutup diri dari temen2 kantornya. Emang dasarnya dia juga ga suka gaul sama temen kantornya karena merasa itu hanya ngerusak privacy. (EMBER!)

Bukannya ga bersyukur masih punya pekerjaan, bahkan kerjaan yang dia sukain banget. Dia cuma ngarepin bosses itu ngertilah sama perasaan anak buah. Jangan seenaknya aja mentang2 boss, nyuruh anak buah lembur tapi kayak gitu. Yang bikin dia lebih empet lagi, kerjaan itu sebenernya bisa dibawa pulang. Apalagi akhirnya toh ga dicek juga. Mending dia pulang, kerjain di rumah, besoknya kasi ke boss. Tapi ntahlah.. I don’t know what’s going on in those minds of busy bosses. And I don’t know what they’re so busy thinking/doing anyways.

Gimana kalian para boss, ada tanggapan?